As I was walking along the corridors of BGH, seeing the condition of the wards, the patients and everything else, I thought I would miss the setting, the job, and the profession but instead I sighed out of relief that this is not my workplace. I realized after 9 years since I graduated and passed the board exams that this job wasn’t really for me.
I am not belittling those who are in this industry, I am actually in awe of their dedication in doing this with so little benefits and recognition from the government. Being in this field is not for the weak of hearts, it requires an enormous amount of patience and love and selflessness. The way with how our public hospitals in the country look like, add bravery and passion to the mix or else you will not survive.
I know I would have reacted differently if I went to Medical City or St. Lukes or Makati Med but not every Filipino could afford to get healthcare from those institutions. 7 out of 10 Filipinos have public hospitals as their only option. We are lucky we could pay a semi-private room and get a slightly better service in BGH, however, how about those who can’t? Those patients who are in the wards or in the corridors of the hospital if the wards get too crowded? What kind of treatment or service will they get?
It saddens me to face the truth that I will no longer be back to the profession I once sworn to perform. I used to dream that I would someday go back to the field I learned to love back in the day. After being here for not even 24 hours, that dream feels so far away. I knew, in my heart, I let go of this industry long long ago.
It wasn’t my first love. Taking up Nursing in college was my only option. Of course I wanted something else. I want to write. But we don’t get everything we want, right? I guess it doesn’t matter since I didn’t end up with nursing nor writing anyway. Ang bitter noh? Charot.