waiting is not my mo

This year is proving to be a very very difficult year. I should not be stressing myself over things I couldn’t get the answers yet but I can’t help it. Waiting is not my strongest suit. You may also simply say I’m fvcking impatient. Working this out is so hard when you’re a certified number one praning. It makes your waiting time nakakabaliw. I should work on that, I know but with the way I think now, it’s going to be a laborious process.

Can somebody give me pointers to be more patient? Because, really. This kapraningan is putting a toll on me. I don’t know if I can last. I’ll probably end up crazy in the next few days.

– w.l – a

Definition:
Praning
/Nakakapraning – means paranoid
Nakakabaliw – means makes you crazy

sunday currently | 03

weekends are for Flamie

My weekends, specially Sundays, lately are spent with my daughter. I’m in Manila on weekdays then I travel to Pangasinan every Friday or early morning (as in wee hours) on Saturday so I can be with my daughter on my rest days. If you think a couple’s LDR is hard, triple the feeling and that is how difficult to be far from your child. I’m lucky I still have my weekends and holidays to be with her but what about those who work overseas?

Kudos to all moms who make every kind of sacrifices for their kids. We all deserve a good Sunday.

CURRENTLY

Reading Rebel of the Sands by Alwyn Hamilton. I started reading this a few days ago after I read A Court of Mist and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas. I got sidetracked reading it this weekend because I’m on babysitting duty which is expected because Flamie only wants mommy and mommy and mommy.

Writing whatever comes to my mind these days. I need to write.

Listening to Adele’s All I Ask and Ariana Grande’s Almost is Never Enough and a whole lot more. Check and follow my playlist on Spotify here.

Watching  Goblin, a Korean drama starring Gong Yoo from the series Coffee Prince years ago and he hasn’t aged a bit. I am actually so late in watching Korean dramas again since I couldn’t find the time to do it before. Of course, I watch this in between seeing Baby TV shows, Masha and the Bear and Baby Jake episodes and the occasional nursery rhymes. I wonder when will I add Pippa Pig on this list. Probably, never.

Thinking of where the hell can we find a nanny who will last. Ugh. Will this be my problem for the rest of the year? We had 3 nannies (going on 4) since January and it’s not half the year yet!

Smelling the little girl who smells like baby powder.

Wishing I could spend more time with my daughter, live with her again if I could.

Hoping for a job opening on the site where I want to transfer soon or start a home based job which will allow me to be with my daughter all day.

Wearing a mommy get up, if there is one.

Needing more patience and hope and peace of mind.

Feeling tired yet okay, not overjoyed but fine. I’m okay even if sometimes it doesn’t.

Hay. The day is almost over. Back to my reality tomorrow.

-wl, a.

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it wasn’t for me

As I was walking along the corridors of BGH, seeing the condition of the wards, the patients and everything else, I thought I would miss the setting, the job, and the profession but instead I sighed out of relief that this is not my workplace. I realized after 9 years since I graduated and passed the board exams that this job wasn’t really for me.

Continue reading “it wasn’t for me”

sunday currently | 02

when emotions go unchecked

Being busy forces you not to think beyond what you usually face everyday but being busy does not make it go away. Sooner or later the things you are running away from will catch up on you. The emotions that were left unchecked for a time resurfaces and you’re suddenly overwhelmed of bottled up thoughts, questions, and emotions and whatever things that will come up your mind that you haven’t thought of for a while.

Welcome to my Sunday.

CURRENTLY

Reading A Conjuring of Lights by V.E. Schwab. I’m done reading it a few days ago. I haven’t opened my Kindle yet to look for a new novel to read. I’m actually waiting for someone to lend me A Clash of Kings because I’m in the mood of reading a book with a lot of deaths in it.

Writing a post of what I want to say but does not really write anything close to what I want to say. If that makes sense.

Listening to Ed Sheeran’s All of the Stars.

Watching  Trolls. I have a baby at home so it’s either an animation movie or Baby TV the whole day.

Thinking of things I don’t want to think about.

Smelling the smell of summer and stress. If such exists.

Wishing for something that only a Fairy Godmother could give me.

Hoping for a calm heart, mind and soul and pocket.

Wearing my usual get up when at home.

Needing rest and rest and rest and rest and rest. Did I just say rest?

Feeling emotionally drained and stressed. Hello, weekend.

-wl, a.

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anyare, mga bes?

nakakaumay politics sa Pinas

Nakakaloka ung ibang comments ng mga netizens na tuwang tuwa sa pagkaalis nila Senator Drillon, Pangilan, Aquino and Hontiveros from their key posts. Matanong ko lang, magbigay nga kayo ng naipasang law ni Manny Pacquiao?

Hindi ako Dilawan, nor will I claim Pro or Anti-Duterte but this move is veeeeery pasipsip and very politically motivated. Pansariling kapakanan iniisip ng majority ng asa posisyon ngaun. Ayaw ng dissent, alisin ang mga kontra. 

Hay, Pilipinas.

Democracy is at risk and people who blindly believe and follow Duterte don’t  realize what is happening with this administration even if the warning signs are right in front of their eyes.

Will they still cheer kung lugmok na ang ekonomiya ng Pilipinas, we’re under martial law, at kapareho na tayo ng gobyerno ng pinakamamahal na China ni PDUTs? I will not remove the credit for the good things this administration did. I believe some of the government departments are working their asses off to make a change. But will the good outweigh the negative this administration is doing? 

Inuulit ko, hindi ako or Pro or Anti Duterte. How I wish these social media personalities stop labelling or coloring people based on what they believe in. Hindi ba pwedeng maging Pro-Pilipinas na lang tayong lahat? Nakakalungkot na nakakainis tumambay sa Facebook ngaun. Puro kabwisitan lang mababasa mo.

Gising, kababayan. Nakakatakot na. Baka magising na lang tayo isang araw, bawal na ang Facebook, Twitter at mga blogs na gaya nito. Hindi ka na pwedeng magcomment ng against sa gobyerno. Wala ka ng boses. Wala ka ng palag.

wl, a

P.S. I originally posted this on Facebook. I was afraid to publish it here. Natakot ako. Natakot akong magaya sa mga Pilipinong naglakas loob maglabas ng hinaing sa gobyerno noong Martial Law. Hindi ako ganun katapang. Pero heto ako ngaun. Alam ko hindi ako nagiisa. What is happening to the administration now, to the different chambers of the government, it’s scary. Today is a dangerous time but we are still a democratic country. Let’s not stop fighting for democracy. 

Let me leave you with words said in the movie #Angelito: (Disclaimer: Photos are not mine.)

sunday currently | 01

i want a work from home job, parefer naman

One of the things I scratched from my To Do List when I was putting up this blog is to forget about post memes. I used to have a lot of them on my previous blog because it makes the blog organized especially when I am covering differen topics. I grew tired of boxing everything I write in memes.

So why do this now, you ask? To fill in the space of this blog of course. I’m such a lazy bum when writing these days. I know, I know, I know, I have to build an audience blah, blah, blah—that’s why I’m doing this now, right? As always, don’t expect this to be a regular shenanigan in WLA, just whenever the mood strikes.

CURRENTLY

Reading Game of Thrones. Yes, finally after years of avoiding GoT, here I am. Can somebody lend me the second book? I’m nearly done with the first. 

Writing several blog posts that I hope to finish writing. Like this one.

Listening to my daughter talking my ear off. Babbling vowels, yelling, laughing, and saying dadadaddy all the time. Say mummamyy, daughter!

Watching a number of qAmerican Series, the ones that were on season break for the holidays last year. Done with the first half of Teen Wolf’s Season 6 and the latest episodes of The Flash Season 3. I’m about to continue where I left off with Arrow Season 5, DC’s Legends of Tomorrow Season 2, Magicians Season 1 and 2.

Thinking of what to cook for the next two weeks, of the replacement nanny for my daughter, the household biweekly budget, and baby supplies.

Smelling Baygon’s residue. Hindi ako adik ha? Nagspray lang kasi malamok. Charot.

Wishing I was on a paid vacation, travelling somewhere, hitting the beach, a day without thinking of diapers, milk, budget and stressful work related tasks.

Hoping to get a replacement nanny soon. It’s hard to find a lasting nanny these days. The breed of kasambahay today are not long term material anymore (a few months, if you’re lucky, half a year) unlike the nannies we had back in the 90s – 00s. The shortest stint for a nanny then is 2 years. The longest one we had was 7 years. My nanny, who is about to go, is nice and approachable. Her husband is badgering her to go home to take care of their kids which left me with no choice but to let her go. I asked her to give us time to get a new one before she leaves and I’m glad she agreed. I hope we can get a replacement very soon so all of us can be happy and move on with our lives.

Wearing a comfy pambahay.

Loving Mobile Legends. HAHAHAHA. Deymit, it’s a good stress reliever and a bonding thing I have with beau.

Wanting a new job that will allow me to work from home and that pays well. I don’t have to face traffic every day and I get to see and be with my child most of the day. I might not even need a 24/7 nanny for her then.

Needing a good rest, massage, and a long weekend. I need sleep. With the unpredictable work schedule I have right now and sleeping with my child at night, I need all the sleep I can get.

Feeling tired, worried, and more. Hay. Given all the problems I have to face recently, it’s a challenge to choose joy. My word for this year is proving to be such a difficult word to achieve. Ohmeged, and we’re not even half through the year!

-wl, A.

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january is not very nice

she’s being a bitch

This used to be my favorite month because it’s my birthday month but this year proved otherwise. She’s being a bitch and a major pain the ass. Oh,  I can’t wait for January to end.

whispers to self, “grace to choose joy”, repeat

To be fair, my woes for this month started before 2016 Continue reading “january is not very nice”