january is not very nice

she’s being a bitch

This used to be my favorite month because it’s my birthday month but this year proved otherwise. She’s being a bitch and a major pain the ass. Oh,  I can’t wait for January to end.

whispers to self, “grace to choose joy”, repeat

To be fair, my woes for this month started before 2016 ended when my previous nanny didn’t even have the grace to properly tell me she doesn’t want to stay working for me anymore. She only sent me a text message on the 29th of December to look for a replacement when in just a few days I would need to go back to work. I was very pissed. I would never hinder her if she wanted to work somewhere else, all I ask is for her tell me in advance if she doesn’t want to stay anymore so I could look for a replacement before she leaves. If she told me earlier and not with a very short notice, I would have been less agitated and furious. Imagine the stress I had at the beginning of the year thinking of where would I leave my daughter when I have to go work. It was a hellish two weeks.

To add to the stress, office work is not being friendly with all the changes that needs to be implemented immediately. (*drops head on my desk*) Then when I came back to the province to get my daughter, I found out she was sick. We had to get her checked and was on antibiotics for a week. Again, I had to adjust my work schedule to be with her. A few days ago, my phone gave up on me. Yesterday, my eyeglasses broke.

What. The. Hell. January.

Despite of those not so nice events for the past weeks, I know there are a lot of things to be grateful for. I’ll try to list it down:

  • I found a new nanny. Hopefully better than the last and with delicadeza this time, please.
  • My daughter is well. She recovered easily and is back to being makulit.
  • My boss was very understanding with my situation and I was able to have leaves with pay.
  • Work is still stressful. I can’t change that but it gave me a new perspective and goals in the future.
  • I got a new phone (which is a year overdue).
  • I had a new frame for my eyeglasses (a year overdue too).
  • The expenses for travelling from the province to work and all my unexpected purchases put a hole on my pocket. I still have work to get those back. It would just take a few more months to save up, again.
  • I get to spend time with my parents and siblings longer for the holidays and our town’s fiesta.
  • Spent my 30th birthday with them.

It wasn’t all bad, right? I know there are people who are having more problems than I do. Harder struggles. Greater priorities. There are far more things I have to be thankful for even if this year started not very well.

Writing helped. Putting my emotions and thoughts into words made me feel better. We still have a week before January ends but please, please let me have a break.

with love,
-A.

Thank you Lord for listening when I rant whenver I feel like I can’t take it anymore. Thank you for always reminding me to choose joy and for giving me the grace to do that in Your name.

dawn-nature-sunset-trees

with love, –A.

life and my love for writing

As I’ve mentioned on my old blog, Off the Wall, I’m taking a break from writing and I wouldn’t be using Off the Wall anymore when I get back. After months of my self-imposed semi-online hiatus, I feel like I’m ready to go back to the online world—though maybe not very much.

I wasn’t really totally gone from the net. I’d been a lurker in various social media sites. I know what’s going on around me, whatever viral post is up there, new movies, new books, current events. I wasn’t a total hermit. I still have the occasional Facebook status update, tweets and Instagram post. I just don’t have the energy to engage with anyone online. I was, in some way, offline most of the time. Reachable but unresponsive.

What changed then? A little of everything.

For the past months my sole focus is to put my life back together. I was juggling work, house chores, financial plans, baby and all sorts of domestic stuff, and motherhood all at the same time. It was chaotic for the first few weeks and I thought I won’t get my footing with where my life was at that time.

Continue reading “with love, –A.”