Six months into my word and I am almost, almost ready to give it up. My life wasn’t easy and it mold me in a way that I tend to be pessimistic when things don’t go my way. I am impatient. It’s a flaw that led me to decisions I made in the past that I never really thought of the consequences later on. I knew that kind of attitude will make choosing joy a struggle but I never thought it will be this difficult.
when emotions go unchecked
Being busy forces you not to think beyond what you usually face everyday but being busy does not make it go away. Sooner or later the things you are running away from will catch up on you. The emotions that were left unchecked for a time resurfaces and you’re suddenly overwhelmed of bottled up thoughts, questions, and emotions and whatever things that will come up your mind that you haven’t thought of for a while.
Welcome to my Sunday.
Reading A Conjuring of Lights by V.E. Schwab. I’m done reading it a few days ago. I haven’t opened my Kindle yet to look for a new novel to read. I’m actually waiting for someone to lend me A Clash of Kings because I’m in the mood of reading a book with a lot of deaths in it.
Writing a post of what I want to say but does not really write anything close to what I want to say. If that makes sense.
Listening to Ed Sheeran’s All of the Stars.
Watching Trolls. I have a baby at home so it’s either an animation movie or Baby TV the whole day.
Thinking of things I don’t want to think about.
Smelling the smell of summer and stress. If such exists.
Wishing for something that only a Fairy Godmother could give me.
Hoping for a calm heart, mind and soul and pocket.
Wearing my usual get up when at home.
Needing rest and rest and rest and rest and rest. Did I just say rest?
Feeling emotionally drained and stressed. Hello, weekend.
she’s being a bitch
This used to be my favorite month because it’s my birthday month but this year proved otherwise. She’s being a bitch and a major pain the ass. Oh, I can’t wait for January to end.
whispers to self, “grace to choose joy”, repeat
To be fair, my woes for this month started before 2016 Continue reading “january is not very nice”
when your perfect timing is not His perfect timing
One day I was reading my emails in the office when I happen to see the monthly email the corporate recruitment is sending for job openings across all sites. I saw the same position I have now in the site I was considering transferring to two years ago. The only time I was seriously looking for a lateral transfer was in January 2015 when everything that had happened for the past 16 months never crossed my mind. Well, it did though I wasn’t giving it much thought because I didn’t think of it as a possibility. Then again we all know how fate could be funny and mean at the same time, right?
As what I was saying, I wanted to move to Baguio early of 2015 for reasons my closest friends and my readers from Off the Wall knows. I was physically and emotionally drained living in the busy, crazy, fast paced life in Metro Manila for seven years. I was waiting for the right time to move somewhere else, away from the life I built here in the city. That time I wanted so much to just pack my bags and leave but for some reason, I always held back. I would talk myself out of the crazy idea of leaving a secure job and would have a thousand and one reasons of why I should not make hasty decisions. Maybe it’s not what God had intended to happen yet. Maybe in God’s perfect timing, it will.